Thoughts
by capricorn2645
Summary: a little poem that turned into a little story... Yuki lies awake thoughts running through his head.. why can't he open up to Shuichi... Shuichi lies awake with similair thoughts running through his head...until he decides to act...PLEASE R&R!
1. Thoughts  YPOV

**Thoughts**

Every night I lie awake

Thoughts running through my head

Thoughts I can't stop or control

Out of control thoughts

Strange thoughts

Hurtful thoughts

Deceitful thoughts

You thoughts

My head can't control the thoughts

My heart can't control the emotions

I lie awake knowing you're in the next room

I lie awake knowing I could be holding you in my arms

But you can't tell

You don't notice my crazy thoughts

You can't see the swirl in my head

Confusing and amazing and scary and weird and wonderful and

I can't go on

My thoughts won't let me

They keep me awake

And when I drift off they still plague me

Images of you

Your laugh

Your smile

Your face

Always there to great me in my dreams

Such wonderful dreams

Such wonderful thoughts

Then what's wrong with me

Your there

I'm here

That's wrong

You should be here with me

I should be able to see your face and touch your lips

Not just in my thoughts

Why won't I let you in?

Why can't I tell you?

Why are my thoughts keeping me from you?

Thoughts of fear

Thoughts of pain

Thoughts of hope

I fear you won't accept me

Past pains have scarred me

I hope you will love me

Thoughts of hurtfulness

Thoughts of acceptance

Thoughts of love

I'm always so cruel

How can you ever accept me?

You say you love me

Can it be true?

Thoughts of hope

What if you do

Thoughts of doubt

Why are you still here?

What thoughts have been going through your head?

What have you been thinking of at night as you drift off to sleep?

Do you dream of me?

Thoughts of hope

We can make it work

In the end its only thoughts that keep us apart

But a single thought can change that

Thoughts of love

I love you

Thoughts of joy

You love me

Thoughts of peace

That's all we need

In the end thoughts don't matter

In the end

It comes down to you

And to me

In the end WE are all that matter

In the end

Love

Is all that matters

**(A/N please review and tell me what you think!!!!)**


	2. Thoughts  SPOV

**Thoughts ( SPOV )**

**( A/N this started off as just a one shot poem but then my wonderful friend Captara asked if i could make one from Shuichi's point of view. .. im telling you I tried but it didn't exactly work out so I just changed my original poem just a bit so it would be like Shuichi going through the same thing as Yuki but having slightly different thoughts… then I decided to write a little something so now its two poems and a little writing at the end that i hope ties it together... I hope you all like it !!!)**

Every night I lie awake

Thoughts running through my head

Thoughts I can't stop or control

Out of control thoughts

Strange thoughts

Hurtful thoughts

Deceitful thoughts

You thoughts

My head can't control the thoughts

My heart can't control the emotions

I lie awake knowing you're in the next room

I lie awake knowing I could be holding you in my arms

But you can't tell

You don't notice my crazy thoughts

You can't see the swirl in my head

Confusing and amazing and scary and weird and wonderful and

I can't go on

My thoughts won't let me

They keep me awake

And when I drift off they still plague me

Images of you

Memories of you

Your eyes

Your voice

Your face

Always there to great me in my dreams

Such wonderful dreams

Such wonderful thoughts

Then what's wrong

Your there

I'm here

That's wrong

I should be there with you

I should be able to see your face and touch your lips

Not just in my thoughts

Why won't you let me in?

Why can't you tell me how you feel?

Why are your thoughts keeping you from me?

Thoughts of fear

Thoughts of pain

Thoughts of hope

I fear you'll never open up to me

It hurts when your distant

I hope you will love me

Thoughts of hurtfulness

Thoughts of acceptance

Thoughts of love

Your always so cruel

I try to accept you

I tell you I love you

You never say it back

Thoughts of hope

Will you ever say it

Thoughts of doubt

What if you dont

What thoughts have been going through your head?

What have you been thinking of at night as you drift off to sleep?

Do you dream of me?

Do you dream of confessing your feelings to me?

Thoughts of hope

We can make it work

In the end its only thoughts that keep us apart

But a single thought can change that

Thoughts of love

I love you

Thoughts of joy

I know you love me too

Thoughts of peace

That's all we need

I will always be here

No matter what you think I will not leave

In the end thoughts don't matter

In the end

It comes down to you

And to me

In the end WE are all that matter

In the end

Love

Is all that matters

* * *

And I lie here knowing your still awake. I lie awake knowing that your thinking of me. Thoughts wont control my actions. 

I get up slowly from the couch and creep into your bed room. Your eyes are closed but I know your awake. I lie down beside you and you open your eyes. At first you just stare but finally you more slightly to the right. That is all I need. I snuggle in close to you, loving the feel of your arms around me. Loving the way you hold me close.

" Shuichi…"

I silence you with a kiss. I try to make you understand. I try to show you that I understand. I put as much love and tenderness as I can in that single kiss and as I pull away I can see the thoughts swirling in your head by looking into your eyes.

I nestle in close again and sigh to myself. Mabye not today, but soon he will tell me. That's the thing that keeps me going.

" I love you Shu."

The words are whispered into my ear as he pulls me closer. And finally my thoughts stop swirling and my mind stops doubting, and my heart starts rejoicing.

I can feel Yuki's heart beating against my cheek. I know I now hold it in my hands. He finally trusted me with it.

" I love you too Yuki. I won't brake it."

If he's confused he doesn't say anything. We fall asleep in each others arms, no more thoughts running through our heads. Well, except for one,

Thoughts of truth,

Everything is going to be ok.

**( A/N how did it go.. did it turn out ok... im kinda nervous of tying the poem and story together.. please review and tell me what you think!!!)**


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